How to use your network to find a job (without feeling awkward)
By the RollHound team · Updated · 3 min read
The short answer
Reach out to people who already know your work, tell them the specific role you're looking for, and make one clear, easy request: an introduction, a referral for a posted job, or a short conversation. Most people are glad to help when the ask is specific and small.
Key takeaways
- Start with people who've seen your work: former managers, colleagues, clients and vendors.
- Be specific about the role and type of company you want.
- Make one small request per message.
- Follow up once, and always say thank you, whatever happens.
Why reaching out works
A referral or an introduction puts a real person between your application and the stack. Many employers value referrals because someone they trust is vouching for you, and some fast-track referred candidates for a first look. Even when there's no opening today, a conversation keeps you in mind for the next one.
It can feel uncomfortable, especially after months of searching. Remember that almost everyone has been on your side of this, and most people like being asked for advice they can actually give.
Who to reach out to
- Former managers and colleagues who can speak to your work.
- Clients, partners and vendors you've worked with.
- People at companies you want to work for, even second-degree connections.
- Alumni groups, professional associations, local meetups and industry Slack or Discord communities.
- Friends and family. They may not be in your field, but they know people who are.
What to say: messages you can copy
To a former colleague: "Hi Sam, I hope things are going well at Acme. I'm looking for my next role as a marketing operations director, ideally at a mid-sized software company. I saw Acme is hiring a Director of Marketing Ops. Would you be comfortable referring me, or pointing me to the hiring manager? Happy to send my resume and a few lines you could use."
To someone you don't know well: "Hi Jordan, I noticed we both worked at Northwind. I'm exploring roles in customer data platforms and your team's work caught my eye. Would you be open to a 15-minute call in the next couple of weeks? I'd value your view on the team and what it looks for."
To friends and family: "I'm looking for a new job as a project manager in construction or manufacturing around Greenville. If you know anyone in those fields, I'd be grateful for an introduction."
Make it easy to say yes
- Send the job link and your tailored resume so they don't have to hunt for anything.
- Offer a two- or three-sentence summary they can paste into a referral.
- Keep the first message short enough to read on a phone.
- If they can't help, thank them and ask if there's someone else they'd suggest.
Keep track and follow up
Keep a simple list of who you contacted, when, and what you asked. Follow up once after about a week if you haven't heard back. When you land the job, tell everyone who helped; it's good manners and it keeps the relationship warm for the future.
Common questions
Is it okay to ask a stranger for a referral?
Asking a stranger to refer you outright is a big request, because they're vouching for someone they don't know. Ask for a short conversation or advice first. If the conversation goes well, they may offer to refer you themselves.
How do I network when I'm embarrassed about being out of work?
Being between jobs is common and nothing to apologize for. Keep it simple and forward-looking: say what you're looking for next, not why you left. Most people will respond to the request, not the circumstances.